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Simpsons Funny Quotes
Resource for Simpsons Funny Quotes with Searchable quotes, Sayings by Subject, Authors, quotes screensavers, quotes wallpapers and forum. Continue for our current list of the Simpsons Funny Quotes
Simpsons Funny Quotes
- You can get more of what you want with a kind word and a gun than you can with just a kind word.Rating: 0/5 Author: Unknown Subject: Funny
- If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy teenagers?Rating: 0/5 Author: Unknown Subject: Funny
- They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. They're not laughing now.Rating: 4/5 Author: Bob Monkhouse Subject: Funny
- Who says nothing is impossible. I've been doing nothing for years.Rating: 5/5 Author: Unknown Subject: Funny
- The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.Rating: 0/5 Author: Andy Rooney Subject: Funny
- She had lost the art of conversation but not, unfortunately, the power of speech.Rating: 0/5 Author: George Bernard Shaw Subject: Funny
- By the time you can make the ends meet, they move the ends.Rating: 0/5 Author: Unknown Subject: Funny
- As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two...Rating: 0/5 Author: Sir Norman Wisdom Subject: Funny
- If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?Rating: 0/5 Author: Unknown Subject: Funny
- A married man should forget his mistakes; no use two people remembering the same thing.Rating: 0/5 Author: Duane Dewel Subject: Funny
- What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse'.Rating: 2/5 Author: Francois Morency Subject: Funny
- Never miss a good chance to shut up.Rating: 5/5 Author: Unknown Subject: Funny
- Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.Rating: 0/5 Author: Unknown Subject: Funny
- It's funny how dogs and cats know the inside of folks better than other folks do, isn't it?Rating: 0/5 Author: Eleanor H. Porter Subject: Pets
- I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.Rating: 4/5 Author: Unknown Subject: Funny
- Some say the glass is half empty, some say the glass is half full, I say, are you going to drink that?Rating: 0/5 Author: Lisa Claymen Subject: Funny
- It is a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.Rating: 5/5 Author: W. Somerset Maugham Subject: Sports & Competition
- Doing nothing is very hard to do...you never know when you're finished.Rating: 0/5 Author: Leslie Nielsen Subject: Funny
- My act is very educational. I heard a man leaving the other night saying, 'Well that taught me a lesson'.Rating: 5/5 Author: Ken Dodd Subject: Funny
- Never test the depth of the water with both feet.Rating: 5/5 Author: Unknown Subject: Funny
- It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper.Rating: 4/5 Author: Jerry Seinfeld Subject: Funny
- In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.Rating: 0/5 Author: Erma Bombeck Subject: Funny
- Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison.Rating: 0/5 Author: Evelyn Waugh Subject: Funny
- When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.Rating: 3/5 Author: Unknown Subject: Funny
- Don't think of death as an ending. Rather, think of it as a really effective way of reducing your expenses.Rating: 3/5 Author: Unknown Subject: Funny
- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?Rating: 0/5 Author: Unknown Subject: Funny
- I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame it on you.Rating: 0/5 Author: Unknown Subject: Funny
- When I die, I want to die like my grandmother, who died peacefully in her sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in her car.Rating: 1/5 Author: Unknown Subject: Funny
- If practice makes perfect, and no one is perfect, why practice?Rating: 0/5 Author: Unknown Subject: Funny
- What's a geriatric? A german footballer scoring three goalsRating: 0/5 Author: Bob Monkhouse Subject: Funny
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