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Cocky Funny Quotes
Resource for Cocky Funny Quotes with Searchable quotes, Sayings by Subject, Authors, quotes screensavers, quotes wallpapers and forum. Continue for our current list of the Cocky Funny Quotes
Cocky Funny Quotes
- When all else fails. Follow instructions.Rating: 0/5 Author: Unknown Subject: Funny
- Who says nothing is impossible. I've been doing nothing for years.Rating: 5/5 Author: Unknown Subject: Funny
- Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.Rating: 4/5 Author: Unknown Subject: Funny
- For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.Rating: 1/5 Author: Unknown Subject: Funny
- If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the stuff?Rating: 0/5 Author: Unknown Subject: Funny
- My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.Rating: 5/5 Author: Rodney Dangerfield Subject: Funny
- Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code...he turned himself in.Rating: 0/5 Author: Rita Rudner Subject: Funny
- The shortest distance between two points is under construction.Rating: 1/5 Author: Unknown Subject: Funny
- Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.Rating: 0/5 Author: Unknown Subject: Funny
- I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.Rating: 0/5 Author: Unknown Subject: Funny
- You know you're old when the candles cost more than the cake.Rating: 0/5 Author: Unknown Subject: Funny
- A married man should forget his mistakes; no use two people remembering the same thing.Rating: 0/5 Author: Duane Dewel Subject: Funny
- Men who don't understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.Rating: 4/5 Author: Jacques Languirand Subject: Funny
- I love your smile, your face, and your eyes - ****, I'm good at telling lies!Rating: 2/5 Author: A. A. Attanasio Subject: Funny
- The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny ...'Rating: 0/5 Author: Isaac Asimov Subject: Science
- Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.Rating: 0/5 Author: Diana Jordan Subject: Funny
- I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame it on you.Rating: 0/5 Author: Unknown Subject: Funny
- Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.Rating: 3/5 Author: Oscar Wilde Subject: Funny
- They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. They're not laughing now.Rating: 4/5 Author: Bob Monkhouse Subject: Funny
- Never let a rainy day get you down, that's what bills are for.Rating: 0/5 Author: Unknown Subject: Funny
- I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.Rating: 5/5 Author: Charles Lamb Subject: Funny
- Not all man are fools, some stay bachelors.Rating: 5/5 Author: Unknown Subject: Funny
- Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.Rating: 0/5 Author: George Burns Subject: Funny
- Never tell your mom her diet's not working.Rating: 0/5 Author: Joel Subject: Funny
- No one dies a virgin, Life screws us all.Rating: 5/5 Author: Unknown Subject: Funny
- I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.Rating: 2/5 Author: Unknown Subject: Funny
- When your dreams turn to dust, it's time to vacuum.Rating: 0/5 Author: Unknown Subject: Funny
- The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault.Rating: 0/5 Author: Henry Kissinger Subject: Funny
- Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?Rating: 5/5 Author: Unknown Subject: Funny
- There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.Rating: 0/5 Author: Unknown Subject: Funny
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Random Quotations
- Acting is the most minor of gifts and not a very high-class way to earn a living. After all, Shirley Temple could do it at the age of four.
- If you have a talent, use it in every which way possible. Don't hoard it. Don't dole it out like a miser. Spend it lavishly like a millionaire intent on going broke.